Episode 280

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Published on:

6th Dec 2023

Navigating Family Finances During the Holidays: Tips and Insights

As the year comes to a close, it's natural for us to reflect on our experiences and prepare for the holiday season. However, for many families, this time of year can also stir up a mix of emotions, particularly when it comes to finances. In this podcast episode, we delve into the complex dynamics of family, finance, and the emotional impact it can have during the holidays.

Key Takeaways:

  • Families can have different approaches to money, even if they were raised under the same roof.
  • Understanding the input, throughput, output, and feedback of family finances can help manage emotions around money.
  • Setting ranges of comfort, eliminating negative feedback, establishing patterns of interaction, and using positive feedback loops can improve family financial discussions.
  • Asking questions about spending that brings joy, things to be proud of, and what one can't imagine life without can help align spending with values.

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The Complexity of Family Systems

To understand the dynamics at play, it's important to consider the concept of family as a system. According to general systems theory, families are open systems that continuously interact with their environment. They sustain themselves through the exchange of resources, such as money, time, labor, and energy. However, families can also exhibit characteristics of closed systems, where they become insulated or isolated within their environment.

When it comes to family finances, we can break down the system into four key components: input, throughput, output, and feedback. Input refers to the money and resources a family receives, while throughput involves the processes used to convert those inputs into products or services. Output represents the goods and services that the family utilizes, and feedback provides information to make the system more efficient.

Navigating Differences in Family Values

One of the challenges that families often face is navigating differences in values and approaches to money, even when raised under the same roof. This can lead to tension and disagreements, especially during the holiday season when financial decisions are at the forefront. To address these differences, it's essential to establish clear family rules and guidelines.

Firstly, families should define the range of behaviors they are comfortable with when it comes to finances. This allows for a middle ground where everyone's needs and preferences are considered. Secondly, it's important to eliminate negative feedback and punishment as mechanisms for enforcing financial rules. Instead, focus on positive feedback and constructive conversations that promote growth and understanding.

Setting patterns of family interactions is another crucial aspect. By establishing how the family will react and handle situations when financial boundaries are breached, you can create a supportive and respectful environment. Lastly, recognize the power of positive feedback loops and incorporate them into your family dynamics. Celebrate and reinforce behaviors that align with your financial goals and values.

The Power of Positive Conversations

As we approach the holiday season, it's an opportune time to engage in positive conversations about money and values within the family. Reflecting on the past year, ask yourselves what financial decisions or experiences have brought you joy. This exercise helps identify the areas where your money is aligned with your values and can guide future spending decisions.

Additionally, consider what you are proud of, both financially and non-financially. This broader perspective allows you to appreciate the progress you've made as a family and reinforces positive behaviors. Finally, imagine life without certain aspects that bring you joy or fulfillment. This exercise helps prioritize your spending and focus on what truly matters to you as a family.

Implications and Future Outlook

By addressing the emotional aspects of family finances, we can create a healthier and more harmonious environment. Open and honest conversations about money can lead to a deeper understanding of each family member's values and priorities. This, in turn, allows for more effective financial planning and decision-making.

As we look to the future, it's important to continue these conversations and adapt as circumstances change. Financial dynamics within families evolve over time, and it's crucial to regularly reassess and realign your goals and values. By maintaining open lines of communication and a willingness to compromise, families can navigate the complexities of finance and strengthen their relationships.

In conclusion, the holiday season can be a time of joy and celebration, but it can also bring about financial stress and emotional turmoil within families. By understanding the dynamics of family systems and implementing positive communication strategies, we can create a more harmonious and fulfilling experience. As we embark on a new year, let us prioritize open and honest conversations about money and values, ensuring that our financial decisions align with our true priorities as a family.

This episode is brought to you by Rooted Planning Group. Rooted Planning Group is a fee-only financial planning firm that specializes in working with women in their 30s and 40s who want to take control of their finances and plan for the future. Whether you're just starting out or you're looking to make a big change, Rooted Planning Group can help.

Visit www.rootedpg.com to learn more.

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About the Podcast

Money Roots
Money Roots with Amy Irvine
Welcome to "Money Roots," the podcast where personal finance becomes personal. Join host Amy Irvine, CEO of Rooted Planning Group, as she demystifies the world of finance and makes it approachable for everyone, from beginners to financial experts.

In each episode, Amy and her guests dig deep into the financial soil, planting the seeds of financial knowledge and helping you nurture your financial future. Whether you're looking to build a solid budget, invest wisely, or plan for retirement, "Money Roots" has you covered.

Get ready to explore practical advice, inspiring stories, and expert insights that will empower you to take control of your financial destiny. It's time to grow your money roots and thrive financially!

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About your host

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Amy Irvine

Uncorking Amy Irvine!!

If any of you have ever met Amy, you know she is passionate about
three things. Family, Finances, and WINE! This comes through in all
that she does and all that she is. When asked to describe herself she first and foremost states, “I am a wife, a daughter, and hopefully a good friend, who happens to also be a financial planner.” Amy holds a Master’s Degree in financial planning and is a Certified Financial Planner TM , Enrolled Agent, Certified College Financial Consultant, and a Financial Wellness Coach with over 25 years of financial planning and industry experience. She is the Founder and owner of Rooted Planning Group, (Formerly known as Irvine Wealth Planning Strategies LLC), which started in 2016 and has grown to include 6 other planners and 2 part-time staff members. Amy is definitely “doing it her way” and has been recognized by her financial planning colleagues as being a “disrupter,” a title she holds close to her heart and is proud of.

Uniquely, at the age of 44, she decided to not only start her only company, but to act on what she defined as her perfect life and she splits her time between Parrish, Florida and Jasper, New York.
On her website it states, “I love what I do, but I also very much enjoy warmth, good
conversation, wine tastings, and volunteering. New York is extraordinary in the summer and fall, but so is Florida in the winter.”
In 2018, she decided it was time to take the stigma out of finances by combining her passion for finances and wine. She started a podcast called “Wine and Dime,” which highlights a different wine and financial topic each week, and she released her book combining those same two passions, titled, “Uncork Your Finances.”
Many of you may know her as one of the co-founders of the Southern Tier Women’s Financial Conference – a day of collaboration and financial education, which will be hosting it’s sixth year!
To round out her volunteering passion, she often provides financial education to the
community through the financial management program of Cornell Cooperative Extension of Steuben County, she serves on the board of Faith-in-Action of Steuben County, volunteers for various Fund For Women of the Southern Tier events, works with the finance committee of the Arts Council of the Southern Finger Lakes, and serves on the board for the Corning Painted Post Historical Society (also known as Heritage Village).
In her downtime, you’re likely to find her with a glass of red wine from one of the many Keuka or Seneca Lake wineries that she highlights in her Wine and Dime Podcast.