Mastering Money: From Financial Anxiety to Zen with Carrie Friedberg
About the Guest(s):
Carrie Friedberg is a certified Money Coach and Financial Behavior Specialist with over 15 years of experience through her practice, SF Money Coach. She has a rich background in education, having taught kindergarten for nearly a decade. With a commitment to helping individuals and couples conquer financial challenges, Carrie brings a unique blend of counselor training and personal experience in overcoming financial obstacles. Her journey from financial struggles to empowerment has inspired her to educate others on mastering personal finance. Carrie is the author of "At Peace with Money," a book that delivers a fresh perspective on achieving financial literacy and wellness.
Episode Summary:
In this engaging episode of "Money Roots," host Amy Irvine sits down with Carrie Friedberg, an experienced Money Coach, to delve into the emotional and practical aspects of financial literacy. The episode explores Carrie's transformation from financial struggle to expertise, highlighting her journey and the inception of her book, "At Peace with Money." With warmth and insight, Carrie shares her personal story of overcoming fears and challenges with money, offering a relatable perspective for listeners who find financial concepts daunting.
Through this conversation, Carrie and Amy discuss the critical intersection of emotions and money, emphasizing the importance of education in achieving financial wellness. Their dialogue covers Carrie's unique coaching approach, tailored to help individuals and couples navigate their personal financial journeys. Carrie emphasizes how even those without a "natural money sense" can learn to manage their finances effectively, an insight that is encapsulated in her accessible, reader-friendly book. The discussion is packed with advice on financial planning, tools, and the importance of having an advocate in financial discussions, making it a must-listen for anyone aiming to improve their money mindset and management skills.
Key Takeaways:
- Understanding personal finance doesn't require a natural aptitude but is a skill that can be taught and mastered by anyone willing to learn.
- Carrie's practical and holistic approach to financial coaching involves personalized, supportive guidance through consistency and tailored strategies.
- Emotions and money are intricately connected; having a coach can help demystify financial concepts by breaking them down into manageable steps.
- Writing down financial questions and scripting for meetings can empower individuals to control their financial decisions.
- Carrie's book, "At Peace with Money," is designed to be an inviting and humorous guide that demystifies financial management for readers.
Notable Quotes:
- "Proof that anyone who can do fifth grade math can master personal finance."
- "I wrote the book that I needed to read."
- "Let's just be a little more light hearted and have open hands, and turn the lights on and open the windows around money."
- "Everything about wealth management and personal finance is so stiff and scary."
- "I think anyone can figure this out."
Resources:
- Carrie Friedberg's Book: At Peace with Money
- Financial Recovery Institute: (Mentioned Certification)
- Financial Behavior Specialist Certification at Creighton University: (Mentioned Certification)
Tune in to this insightful episode as Amy and Carrie navigate the journey to financial understanding and empower you to take charge of your financial wellness. Follow "Money Roots" for more enriching discussions that bridge life events with dollars and cents.
Transcript
Hi, I'm Amy Irvine, founder of Rooted Planning Group, and this is Money Roots, a podcast where my team and I explore the real conversations behind financial planning.
Speaker A:Because life is about events supported by your dollars and cents.
Speaker A:Let's get started.
Speaker B:Well, Carrie, thank you so much for being on the show today.
Speaker B:As I mentioned in the int, you have an exciting event coming up here relatively soon, and you have quite a journey to that book.
Speaker B:I'm excited to hear a little bit more about that from the.
Speaker B:The mouth of the author, I guess, if you wanted to say.
Speaker B:Yeah, super excited to have you here.
Speaker B:And I know that you have such compassion for those that you are working with.
Speaker B:Just as a, I guess, a background.
Speaker B:Would you give maybe just a little bit as I mentioned that, you know, you went through your own journey when you were writing this book, too, and you do as a money coach.
Speaker B:I think all of us know that money and emotion are like, you know, knotted together.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:There's no separation, although we try to tell people, you know, separate how you feel right now.
Speaker B:It's as we're recording this, there's a lot going on in the world that's causing a lot of fear.
Speaker B:And so, you know, I'm trying to tell people, let that be over the air and let's not make rash decisions, but it's really hard.
Speaker B:So before we dig into all of that, why don't you give us a little bit of background about your journey and what prompted you to write.
Speaker B:Well, I know what prompted you based on what I read that prompted you to write the book, but maybe share with the listeners a little bit more and even dig into how you're working with people as a result.
Speaker C:Sure.
Speaker C:Well, thank you so much, Amy, for having me here.
Speaker C:I'm delighted to be speaking with you today.
Speaker C:And, well, you know, it is kind of an interesting story, but at the end of the day, I am someone who was not born with a kind of natural money sense.
Speaker C:And I ran into so many brick walls as a young adult, including credit card debt and expensive mistakes, and having a lifestyle and a vision for how I wanted to spend my time, energy, and money that was much larger than what my teacher salary could afford.
Speaker C:And there was just a lot of anxiety and worst of all, worst of all, a lack of education.
Speaker C:I just had no idea what I was doing.
Speaker C:And I felt like a child, even though I had a job and a car and an apartment and I had to negotiate at work, and I had roommates to sort of bills out with.
Speaker C:And so I had all these responsibilities.
Speaker C:But no skills.
Speaker C:And I tried to get well, I tried to educate myself.
Speaker C:Fortunately, I was doing a lot of yoga at the time, so I had some self awareness and some quiet time and places and locations where I was exploring my kind of inner landscape and getting to know myself and why I do what I do and why I avoid what I'm scared of and, and things like that really at the yoga studio and.
Speaker C:Okay, so I realized there had to be a better way.
Speaker C:Like I could not continue living this way.
Speaker C:It was just so paralyzing and emotional for me.
Speaker C:I used to break down in tears anytime I had to talk about money.
Speaker C:And I didn't know why.
Speaker C:It was just this area where I felt like a total failure.
Speaker C:And so I started reading books and series of books.
Speaker C:I hired a tutor off of Quicken or off of Craigslist to teach me Quicken.
Speaker C:I watched webinars, I designed my own tracking system, spreadsheet thing.
Speaker C:And all of these were good for a little while, a few months, maybe six months.
Speaker C:But inevitably I would fall off of the healthy habit and due to life throwing me a curveball or something unexpected happened, happening or something overwhelming in my social life, you know, that would just like take me out of the picture, out of the game, and mostly around dating and romantic relationships, you know, 20 something adventures.
Speaker C:And I even worked with a traditional financial therapist for six months that was very healing, very cathartic.
Speaker C:I would basically sob for like an hour in her office once a week.
Speaker C:And we did all these exercises and she put me on a 30 day cash only diet.
Speaker C:And I, I wrote a letter to my dad, which I never sent, which was an exercise in firing my money manager model because I didn't want to do what he did or relate with money in that way.
Speaker C:I wanted to create my own story and, and all of these things helped.
Speaker C:But even at the end of the therapy run, I still did not have a budget.
Speaker C:I could not save $5 for five minutes.
Speaker C:And so I hired a money coach at the suggestion of a friend.
Speaker C:I had never heard of that before.
Speaker C:I did not know really what I was getting into.
Speaker C:But like I said, I was on a mission to fix myself and really to educate and empower myself.
Speaker C:Because by then I had a college degree, a graduate degree, I got certified to teach yoga, I had all these accomplishments, but I knew I needed to train and practice in this area.
Speaker C:And so that process of working with a coach was consistent for two years.
Speaker C:We would have one or two sessions a month.
Speaker C:And I like people to know it doesn't need to take that long to overcome challenges and to make success sustainable changes.
Speaker C:But for me, that's what I needed at the time.
Speaker C:And it was a lot of hand holding, a lot of emotional support, but most importantly, highly practical.
Speaker C:Step one, step two, step three.
Speaker C:This is exactly what you need to do to track your money.
Speaker C:Make a spending plan, create a budget, allocate savings, create savings goals that took months.
Speaker C:That little list I just rambled off right now, like, I don't want to tell people that it was easy because it wasn't.
Speaker C:I had to work hard.
Speaker C:I had to ask a lot of questions and have answers repeated to me multiple times.
Speaker C:I couldn't even create a budget that was balanced for like the first six months.
Speaker C:I was just in the red.
Speaker C:In the red, in the red.
Speaker C:Like the money fog was so thick, the resistance was so strong.
Speaker C:I could not create something that was balanced.
Speaker C:But with this amazing woman's help, I did over time, in a safe, confidential space.
Speaker C:And so things started to expand, things started to grow.
Speaker C:I started to not run out of money between paychecks, like all these little changes.
Speaker C:I was able to move to a nicer apartment in a better neighborhood.
Speaker C:I turned in my permanently dented car for something I felt more comfortable driving in.
Speaker C:And, and most importantly, my relationships changed.
Speaker C:So I was able to show up in my family of origin as an adult for the first time.
Speaker C:I was 30.
Speaker C:By, by then I was able to negotiate for a higher salary.
Speaker C:I had that master's degree, by the way.
Speaker C:But like I had never said I deserve more.
Speaker C:And they gave it to me like all of these miracles.
Speaker C:And I really do call them miracles because that's not who I was.
Speaker C:And.
Speaker C:But through again the training and practice and accountability and making mistakes and two steps backwards, but five steps forward, with that support, I was able to make these changes.
Speaker C:And so I felt like a completely different person.
Speaker C:And the change was so profound.
Speaker C:I decided to do the same counselor training program that my own coach had done.
Speaker C:And that was a year long intensive.
Speaker C:And that's how I became certified the first time.
Speaker C:And um, I think what people like about working with me is my background in education.
Speaker C:So I had taught kindergarten for nine years throughout my 20s.
Speaker C:And I have had many clients, especially women, say, I need you to talk to me like I'm a five year old.
Speaker C:I like, literally, how do you add two plus two?
Speaker C:I mean, in their financial, you know that what's analogous to that in their financial life?
Speaker C:And I get it.
Speaker C:Because I was that person that literally needed to be shaped and molded into a financially fluent, savvy, self supporting adult woman in the house of money.
Speaker C:So I think that's my story.
Speaker C:It's, I, I had to figure it out myself from, from zero to functional.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:Zero to functional.
Speaker C:And then, and then I was able to teach other people the same process.
Speaker C:That really works.
Speaker C:So yeah, that's why I'm here today.
Speaker B:You know, everyone has a different journey.
Speaker B:And I think that that's, you know, one of the things that people will.
Speaker B:Were the word they will use is I should know how to do this.
Speaker B:I'm an intelligent, well educated, you know, otherwise smart person.
Speaker B:Why can't I get money?
Speaker B:And you made a comment early on when you were talking about your journey, journey that said I wasn't, I wasn't born with a natural money sense.
Speaker B:And I wrote that comment down because none of us are actually born with a natural money sense.
Speaker B:It's a taught skill.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:And I have said that over time and time and time again.
Speaker B:We don't come out of our mother's womb knowing how to manage money.
Speaker B:We know how to breathe, we know when we're hungry, we know when we're not hungry.
Speaker B:We know basic bodily functions.
Speaker B:And the rest is all taught.
Speaker B:We don't even know how to.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:We, we are, are taught all of that as we progress in our lives.
Speaker B:And if we aren't taught that, then we don't know how to do it.
Speaker B:And it's all, it's, it's a matter of what journey do we go on to understand and learn how to do it?
Speaker B:How, you know, is it like me where I went, yeah, I was loved numbers.
Speaker B:And so I'm like, okay, I need to go in a field that, you know, involves numbers.
Speaker B:And I fell into this, you know, world of financial planning and later into financial therapy, which I realized I was probably doing and just didn't know that I was doing it.
Speaker B:I think there's some innateness, you know, but, but I don't think anybody is born with a natural sense.
Speaker B:And as you say, you know, there's so much that's tied to what we see as what we are taught.
Speaker B:And so if, if there's not a healthy relationship with money early in our lives, that means that we probably don't have a healthy relationship with money when we're supposed to start.
Speaker B:And I use air quotes, adulting.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:So, and, and that brings up a lot of emotion.
Speaker B:A lot of emotion.
Speaker B:So you mentioned a couple of tools.
Speaker B:You also mentioned the training program and the certification that you got.
Speaker B:Tell us a little bit about that because it is a little different than, you know, some people call themselves money coaches and there is training out there, but you actually went sort of a higher route.
Speaker B:Tell us a little bit about that.
Speaker C:Okay, sure.
Speaker C:Well, I. I've done a couple different certifications over the years.
Speaker C:So my original one was with a now defunct organization called the Financial Recovery Institute.
Speaker C:And it was a very comprehensive professional training program where you had a mentor.
Speaker C:So I was continuing my work with the same financial coach, getting into the layering process of personal finance planning and all of the best practices, all of the essential routines and everything on the practical side of things.
Speaker C:There were also courses and modules around psychology and counselor skills and basic business setup and principles and.
Speaker C:And like that.
Speaker C:And so we had a cohort and we all supported each other and presented case studies and got feedback and it was really great.
Speaker C:The founder was Karen McCall.
Speaker C:I'm so grateful to her.
Speaker C:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker C:And how lucky am I that her daughter, Terry Delangis, ended up being my money coach, the person I referenced as really changing my life.
Speaker C:They both did.
Speaker C: So that was back in: Speaker C:And then several years later, I did a financial behavior specialist certification course, which was five.
Speaker C:They were called MBA level classes.
Speaker C:I think that was the department that they were in at Creighton University and taught by, interestingly, a father son pair.
Speaker C:The Clonts, the Clances.
Speaker C:K, L, O, N, T, Z.
Speaker B:The Clances.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker C:Brad.
Speaker C:Brad and Ted.
Speaker C:Brad ended up writing the forward for my book and actually also coached my own family members in my extended family.
Speaker C:And so we have a, A, a long relationship.
Speaker C:And they, they're incredible.
Speaker C:And they're.
Speaker C:Anyway, so they're really.
Speaker C:They work at the intersection of psychology and wealth management, and they're clinical psychologists and registered investment advisors.
Speaker C:Oh, you're holding a book by them.
Speaker B:I am, yeah.
Speaker B:I just.
Speaker B:The financial therapy book, which is like our.
Speaker B:Our.
Speaker C:It's so good.
Speaker B:Your bible reference book.
Speaker C:Yeah, yeah, I've read that and.
Speaker C:And over and over again.
Speaker B:There's so much experts.
Speaker B:I have little tags on mine.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:I'm sorry, Keep going.
Speaker C:Oh, I'm so happy to see that.
Speaker C:And so.
Speaker C:So it was five, like I said, graduate level classes on financial psychology around family systems and your personal money story and biases.
Speaker C:And, you know, it was very affirming for a lot of tools, interventions and exercises that I was already using.
Speaker C:But then I got the actual research tied to it involved around the best practices as a coach and counselor.
Speaker C:And so all of that in addition to my master's degree in educational technology and teaching credentials.
Speaker C:So I don't have a classic financial background around economy, economics, whatever, but I definitely am kind of self taught or I have figured it out.
Speaker C:So that's why I do what I do and have had this practice as the SF San Francisco SF money coach for the last 15 years.
Speaker C:And I've coached people all over the world now, individuals and couples, as well as multigenerational families.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:That training and why I got so excited for the average listener, you know, when I heard you here, when I heard you say Klon says, is that I've seen Brad Klanz speak many, many times.
Speaker B:I don't know him personally.
Speaker B:I've never.
Speaker B:Well, I met him once like in passing.
Speaker B:But you know, just to the.
Speaker B:I've read not just this, what we call our blue book, our blue reference book, but I've read other books that he's written and it's the approach of which I've read a lot of financial therapy related books and behavioral finance books.
Speaker B:But his approach in the way that he teaches, I guess really does resonate with my style as well.
Speaker B:And whether you come from that teaching background, which is very helpful.
Speaker B:I come from the financial planning background, interestingly enough, Carrie, when I am talking to students that are in financial planning programs and they, if they don't ask this question, I bring it up.
Speaker B:But one of the things that I think, and I'm glad to see the CFP is requiring a little bit more of it.
Speaker B:But one of the questions I often will get is what classes should I be taking that I'm not taking to be a good financial planner?
Speaker B:And I will immediately say anything related to therapy, you should be taking any kind of psychology, sociology, marriage and you know, family therapy, individual therapy, anything related to therapy, even if you choose not to be like a financial therapist or a money coach, is going to make you a better financial planner because you're aware of what the emotion is behind money.
Speaker B:And so you wrote this book.
Speaker B:It's called At Peace with Money.
Speaker B:We're going to have a link in the show, notes for people to go online and order.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So perfect.
Speaker B:Carrie's holding up the book for me, but it's, it's available on Amazon.
Speaker B:I think there's probably a couple other places that it's available as well.
Speaker B:But you can get it on Amazon.
Speaker B:It's in pre order stages right now, right?
Speaker C:No, no, it's out actually.
Speaker B:It actually came out.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:For some reason I was thinking pre order it actually came out January 20th.
Speaker B:Now I see that date.
Speaker B:So it's available right now for people that are interested in it.
Speaker B:One of the things that I think, I think even, you know, like those of us that have studied financial wellness, it's a good book for us to read too, because it's, it's peer to peer.
Speaker B:But I think it's really something that for somebody who.
Speaker B:There's.
Speaker B:There's this fear of going to somebody and talking to them about money.
Speaker B:There's a true fear.
Speaker B:And the number of times that I don't know if you've had this happen or not, but the number of times that people have come into my office the first time and their anxiety is just like, you can see it just like flowing out of their veins.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You know, and you just.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:As we're talking, I'll say, you know, tell me a little bit more about who you are as a person.
Speaker B:I want to get to know you before I get to know your digits.
Speaker B:Like, give me a little background.
Speaker B:And then like the tears immediately start because there's just all this pent up.
Speaker B:Even though I didn't even ask them a question about money, it's just all of this pent up anxiety about coming in and meeting with me.
Speaker B:You know how they talk about the.
Speaker B:When you go into a doctor's office and your blood pressure is high and they caught the white coat effect.
Speaker B:Well, I think that happens a lot with us too.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:There's this, maybe not white coat, but that similar kind of reaction because it's a place that people feel so judged and so vulnerable.
Speaker B:And being able to read a resource like this and get some ideas and I guess some space around it just a little bit, I think is often very helpful.
Speaker B:So you actually mentioned, and I brought this up a few minutes ago too, but some tools that you sort of put together.
Speaker B:Now, I don't want you to give away the book because I think it's very important to not take this out of context.
Speaker B:But what is one of the reasons that Somebody would invest $19 to purchase your book?
Speaker B:Like, give us a little bit of a teaser that would make people really want to.
Speaker B:And I say investment because it's an investment in ourselves.
Speaker B:Why somebody would want to invest this $19.
Speaker B:What do you hope they will get out of it by making that investment?
Speaker C:Well, the tagline that they'll find on the back of the book is everything I need to say, which is proof that anyone who can do fifth grade math can master personal finance.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:So I mean, look, I wrote the book that I needed to read.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:I, I did share earlier.
Speaker C:I, I read books and series of books.
Speaker C:That's fine.
Speaker C:There were also several that I started and, and then got allergic to.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker C:Like I could not pick it up again.
Speaker C:There's no way I was.
Speaker B:Tell us a little more about that.
Speaker B:So sorry to interrupt you, but what does that mean?
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker C:I mean there's, there's just so much about wealth management and personal finance and, and money that is so stiff.
Speaker C:So stiff and so masculine and so scary and so buttoned up and you got to wear a suit and go to an appointment in the skyscraper and nothing about my book is like that.
Speaker C:So I wrote the friendly book.
Speaker C:I tell very colorful stories about myself.
Speaker C:I really put it out there.
Speaker C:I've lived in the Bay Area, I grew up in Michigan, but I've lived in the Bay Area for the last 25 years.
Speaker C:I've seen a lot, I've experienced a lot and also have received the stories and life experiences, as I mentioned, from clients around the world.
Speaker C:And I share a lot of fascinating, also colorful anonymous client stories in there.
Speaker C:And so, and it's funny as well.
Speaker C:I hope people laugh because it's like, let's just be a little more light hearted and have open hands and turn the lights on and open the windows around money.
Speaker C:Like.
Speaker C:And so even though in the beginning I very much had to act as if and fake it till I make it and I was literally writing down in a checkbook register every single thing that happened to my money.
Speaker C:And I did that for two years.
Speaker C:But that's what I needed to kind of get over my work.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:If that's what works great.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:And so also coupling up with my now husband and all the, you know, many micro dramas that, that came up around falling in love and moving in, merging money.
Speaker C:And like the first week we merged money, he went out and bought new golf clubs and I was like shocked, you know, at navigating things like that.
Speaker C:That's a total luxury problem I get.
Speaker C:But so my approach to personal finance and everything that's in this book is very doable.
Speaker C:I think anyone can figure this out.
Speaker C:And so, and it's holistic, you know, there's a little bit of spirituality, little bit of woo woo.
Speaker C:But I promise not too much.
Speaker C:But you know, money affirmations actually work.
Speaker C:So that's early on in the book.
Speaker B:Well, so one thing that I do want to say, like to your point, I, when my husband and I got married, the Pastor that married us, he actually asked us, do you guys talk about money?
Speaker B:And my husband at the time said, she handles that and.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker B:And I said, well, I'm worried.
Speaker B:I'm working on that.
Speaker B:Like, I want it to be a collaborative thing, but I just don't want to hand it over.
Speaker B:And I think that you're absolutely right.
Speaker B:And this is a financial planner saying this, but I think anybody can learn this stuff, and I think they can do it.
Speaker B:I think the reason we have a job as financial planners is because I choose to delegate it.
Speaker B:Like, this is something in my life.
Speaker B:I choose to delegate when.
Speaker B:When I'm working with people, I don't want them to hire me because they don't understand it.
Speaker B:I want them to hire me because they want to delegate.
Speaker B:And I think it's really, really important that when you're working with a financial planner that you actually are aware of what's going on.
Speaker B:Like, you shouldn't be in the.
Speaker B:The grays, like, the unknowns, only I don't know what they're doing.
Speaker B:You know, that that's.
Speaker B:To me, that's really dangerous.
Speaker B:It's that trust but verify that.
Speaker B:I. I often talk about.
Speaker B:And a lot of times, what's needed is that initially, it depends on where you're coming from, but sometimes what's needed is a coach first.
Speaker B:We can't.
Speaker B:We.
Speaker B:There's a difference.
Speaker B:Coaching gets you to a certain place, and then planning can take you the next step further.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But if you skip that step and it could be parents that coached.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You might.
Speaker B:You might have had that in your life.
Speaker B:So you had that coaching first.
Speaker C:Yes, yes.
Speaker B:But in my experience, you actually can't do the planning until you've had some coaching.
Speaker B:So I love the.
Speaker B:The tagline of your book, because I think as women, I hear a lot that, oh, my husband handles that now.
Speaker B:It's getting better.
Speaker B:But as women, I do hear that.
Speaker B:I used to hear that a lot, and I'm like, so what happens if he dies?
Speaker B:I mean, I. I'm a very blunt person, so I'll just ask a question, like, what happens if he dies?
Speaker B:And I get that look of, oh, I don't.
Speaker C:I know.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker B:So it's really critical.
Speaker C:It is really important.
Speaker C:I totally agree and concur with everything that you're saying.
Speaker C:And I think as an adult, if you are.
Speaker C:None of us are living in a cave at a monastery, like, and meditating for 14 hours a day, though I did do that for one week of time.
Speaker C:But.
Speaker C:But the point is It's a responsibility if you want to run a business, if you want to live a certain lifestyle, if you are in a partnership or, oh my gosh, if you have children on this planet.
Speaker C:Like, we all need to learn how to take care of our money.
Speaker C:And I like to think about it as a garden that just.
Speaker C:It needs just a little bit of time tending week by week.
Speaker C:Sometimes it's watering, that's the easy part.
Speaker C:Sometimes it's weeding, sometimes it's pulling something out and excavating and replanting and.
Speaker C:And also it's seasonal and things change and year by year, I mean, we have these rhythms in our lives, but actually no two months are ever alike.
Speaker C:And so even the, the monthly routine of budgeting or creating a spending plan is nuanced.
Speaker C:Of course.
Speaker C:We have our basic bills, maybe even on autopay and on repeat, we understand
Speaker B:that, which is like, dangerous to a certain extent.
Speaker C:Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker C:At one point I had to, at, at that therapist's suggestion, I undid every single auto payment just to wake up a little bit around money and increase awareness about what I had set up.
Speaker C:And then I could consciously reintroduce over time, of course, some auto payments.
Speaker C:But, um, yeah, I think even the more wealth one accumulates over time, the greater the responsibility.
Speaker C:And, and it's not about do it all for me, you know, in hiring someone like you, Amy, but it's help me to understand what I'm signing, right?
Speaker C:It's like, don't sign anything that you don't understand.
Speaker C:But that's its own set of skills.
Speaker C:And that's a lot of what we work on in coaching is.
Speaker C:Let's make a list of your questions.
Speaker B:We.
Speaker C:What I'm hearing you say here with me, where it's safe in preparation for that financial planner appointment you have in two weeks, we're going to write it up.
Speaker C:And I've even attended meetings with people with their financial planner to be that safe person and advocate for them and to help them ask questions or in English, but like translate what is happening.
Speaker C:Because I remember myself not only being overwhelmed with emotion, but literally my physical hearing would go out when someone maybe like you, though I really like the way you speak in your style.
Speaker C:But other financial advisors I've encountered in my life, when they go on these tangents and they're talking about these things and they're using acronyms and it feels aggressive, like it's overwhelming for my system.
Speaker C:And yes, I may be highly sensitive.
Speaker C:I am a cancer in astrology.
Speaker C:But that aside, I deserve to understand what's happening.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:So I think even I can fall.
Speaker B:Yeah, sorry to interrupt, but I even, I can fall, you know, into that path of using the wrong jargon.
Speaker B:Sometimes it's especially on really busy days, you know, because my brain is operating a super quick pace.
Speaker B:And so I'm thinking it's like this way I explain it.
Speaker B:So I'd love that you go to some of the meetings, because I'll say to people, look, I realize I've.
Speaker B: been in this profession since: Speaker B:So it, it's like somebody who has spoken Spanish and English for all of their life.
Speaker B:To them, either language, just as easy for them to say.
Speaker B:But I realize, and I always say, like, if I go into that layer of speaking a language that you don't, you know, just remember that to me, that is my first language.
Speaker B:And I realize it's not yours, so don't hesitate to say, yo, back it up.
Speaker B:I'm not going to take offense to it.
Speaker B:And you in, in, I mean, in actuality, I'm not doing my job if I'm talking to you in that way.
Speaker B:But I will tell you that it is easy to go down that path.
Speaker B:So even though I don't like that I go down that path, sometimes I do do it.
Speaker B:And I think it's so important what you're saying about having an advocate, especially if you're feeling vulnerable already.
Speaker C:Right, right.
Speaker B:Really critical to have an advocate to participate in the meetings and to, you know, it's the same thing in medical situations where, you know, where, you know, we hire, sometimes we hire medical advocates, right.
Speaker B:To sit in the room with the client, to set goals for clients, to translate the information.
Speaker B:This is the same thing.
Speaker B:And so I love that you actually jointly participate in those meetings.
Speaker B:And I think for people that are listening to this podcast right now, because I know, you know, we're getting close to wrapping up, but for people listening to this podcast right now, that, right, there is a great reason to hire somebody that is skilled like you are, that, that, that can serve.
Speaker B:And at least initially, to be that intermediate person that's like, okay, Amy, you're speaking finance, you know, language.
Speaker B:You're over here using all these acronyms.
Speaker B:And then, you know, client over here is trying.
Speaker B:Their brain is operating, trying to, Trying to digest and learn at the same time.
Speaker B:And so, and we all know that when we're learning something, we actually need to speak slower.
Speaker B:Like, the language needs to be slower when we're Learning.
Speaker B:That's why teachers speak at it.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So it.
Speaker B:So if I get in one of those days where I'm like, yeah, I'm on the go, I got lots of appointments and I'm snapping for those of you that can't see me.
Speaker B:But I notice that my language speeds up.
Speaker B:And if I'm watching, because I do a lot of virtual meetings too, if I'm watching their face, I will often realize pull it back.
Speaker B:But I'm guilty just like everybody else.
Speaker B:Sometimes I don't.
Speaker B:And if somebody like you were in the meeting to be able to go like, woohoo, take it back.
Speaker C:Right, right.
Speaker C:Yes, exactly.
Speaker C:And I mean, and having questions written down, scripts for these things are also very helpful.
Speaker C:Even how to choose a financial advisor.
Speaker B:What do you ask?
Speaker C:What do you need need to know?
Speaker C:I have all of that written down in, in my book in addition to a lengthy script for financial partnership covering the different phases of, of financial partnership.
Speaker C:Because, and this is, this is a result of just like 15 years of relationship mistakes that I made.
Speaker C:You know, square peg, round hole type of.
Speaker C:And if I had a script like that, I would have avoided so much pain, little T trauma, you know, heartbreak, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker C:Look, it, it was all tenderizing for who I became and, and worked out with, with me.
Speaker C:And I'm so grateful that I met my husband when I did.
Speaker C:And that's, that's my jam.
Speaker C:That's, that's, that's why I'm in this
Speaker B:field and that's why you wrote this fantastic book that proof that anyone who can do fifth grade math can master finance.
Speaker B:We are going to put a link in our show notes for your book and link to your LinkedIn page.
Speaker B:For anybody looking for a coach at this point, you know, after listening to our podcast, if they're looking for a coach.
Speaker B:So feel free to reach out to Carrie.
Speaker B:I assume you're still taking clients, right Carrie?
Speaker B:Yes, yes, I should have asked that question because I think when you've gone through a journey, of course we always have to make sure that we're not putting our journey on anybody else's journey.
Speaker B:And that's my own advice to myself too.
Speaker B:But I think that when you have gone through a journey with finance, you have a greater level of compassion for the listener, you know, the, the person that you're working with.
Speaker B:So you know, I think that this is like coaching.
Speaker B:I love that financial coaching has become an actual or money coaching has become an actual career path as well.
Speaker B:Because I do feel like there is that void between I want to adult right.
Speaker B:I want to hire a financial planner, but I want to know a little bit before I go in and sit down with that financial planner.
Speaker B:And I want to get sort of my ducks in a row.
Speaker B:And this is where money coaching, I think, is a great place to sort of, you know, melt in the middle a little bit.
Speaker B:Carrie, thank you so much for being on the podcast today and congratulations on your book.
Speaker B:I'm sure it was a labor of love.
Speaker C:It was.
Speaker C:Thank you so much, Amy.
Speaker C:This was really fun.
Speaker B:Again, check out the show notes for the links.
Speaker B:And thank you so much for tuning in today.
Speaker B:We really appreciate your time, energy and effort.
Speaker B:And just a reminder that life is about events supported by your dollars and cents.
Speaker A:That's it for today's episode of Money Roots.
Speaker A:I'm Amy Irvine from Rooted Planning Group.
Speaker A:If you found this conversation helpful, we'd love for you to share the podcast with a friend, family member or colleague who might enjoy it too.
Speaker A:And if there's a financial question on your mind, send it in.
Speaker A:Your question could be the topic of a future episode, because at the end of the day, life is about events supported by your dollars and cents.
Speaker A:Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time on Money Routes.
