Episode 277

full
Published on:

8th Nov 2023

Caring for Aging Parents: The Sandwich Generation Struggle

As we approach the end of the year, many of us find ourselves reflecting on the challenges and joys of the past months. For some, this reflection includes the realization that they are part of the "sandwich generation" - a group of individuals who are caught between the responsibilities of caring for their aging parents and raising their own children. This delicate balancing act can be emotionally and physically draining, leaving individuals feeling torn between their parents, their children, and their careers.

In this edition of Wine and Dime, we will explore the unique challenges faced by the sandwich generation and discuss practical steps that can be taken to navigate this complex situation. We will delve into the importance of creating a "red file" for your parents, which includes essential documents and information, and we will also explore the financial implications of providing care for aging parents. Finally, we will discuss the importance of open and honest communication with your parents about their wishes and the potential need for long-term care.

Key Takeaways:

  • Create a red file with important documents and information about your parents to be prepared for any emergencies or care needs.
  • Map out different scenarios for caring for parents, considering short-term, medium-term, and long-term care needs.
  • Discuss your parents' wishes and preferences for care, including the possibility of relocating to a retirement community.
  • Have open and honest conversations with parents about their healthcare proxies, power of attorney, and HIPAA releases.
  • Consider the impact of caregiving on the spouse and explore resources and support available for caregivers.

Red File Checklist Download

Remember, just like a good bottle of wine, the Wine and Dime Podcast gets better with time. So don't forget to rate and subscribe to our show, where we blend the flavors of wine and personal finance to help you achieve financial freedom!

If you have any questions that you would like answered on the show, feel free to email us at info@rootedpg.com

Or visit us at www.rootedpg.com/podcasts for full show notes and links!

Creating a Red File: Ensuring Preparedness

One of the first steps in preparing to care for aging parents is to create a "red file" - a comprehensive document that contains all the essential information and documents needed in case of an emergency. This file should include copies of important documents such as Social Security cards, driver's licenses, passports, insurance cards, and birth certificates. It should also include information about any military service, vaccinations, and a list of contacts for banks, lawyers, doctors, and insurance agents.

"It's a very important topic to bring up with both you and your folks and your kids, potentially." - Amy Irvine

By having this information readily available, you can quickly and efficiently handle any necessary paperwork or inquiries that may arise in the event of an emergency. Additionally, it is crucial to include a list of medications and any legal documentation, such as a healthcare proxy or HIPAA agreement, to ensure that you can make informed decisions on behalf of your parents if needed.

The Financial Implications of Caregiving

Caring for aging parents can have significant financial implications, and it is essential to consider these factors when planning for the future. Whether it is providing financial assistance or taking time off work to care for parents, there are costs associated with supporting aging loved ones.

"Start mapping out what if my parents need short-term help? What if my parents need a medium amount, somewhere between short and long? And what if they need long-term? What would that look like in my life, our lives?" - Amy Irvine

To begin, it is crucial to assess the potential impact on your career. Will your employer allow you to work remotely or take extended leave if necessary? Understanding your company's family leave policies and the potential impact on your benefits, such as health insurance and retirement contributions, is essential for financial planning.

Additionally, consider the potential costs of hiring additional help or assistance for your parents. If you need to take time off work, you may need to hire someone to provide care or assistance at home. This can include transportation services, in-home caregivers, or daycare for your children if they are young and require additional support during this time.

Communicating with Your Parents: Understanding Their Wishes

Open and honest communication with your parents about their wishes and preferences is crucial when planning for their care. While these conversations can be challenging, they are essential for ensuring that their needs are met and that you can provide the support they require.

"What are your wishes? Do you have a healthcare proxy? Do you have a power of attorney? Do you have a HIPAA release? Can I have a copy of that so that I can have it on file? What would your wishes be if you need some care, so that I can build that into my plan?" - Amy Irvine

Approach the conversation by expressing your concern and love for your parents. Let them know that you want to ensure they are taken care of and that you are there to support them. If they become defensive or resistant, reassure them that your intention is to help, not take something away from them.

It is also important to discuss the topic of driving and establish clear guidelines for when your parents may need to stop driving. This can be a sensitive issue, but having a plan in place and agreeing upon specific triggers for when alternative transportation options should be considered can help alleviate potential conflicts in the future.

Conclusion and Future Outlook

Caring for aging parents while raising a family and managing a career is undoubtedly challenging. However, by taking proactive steps to prepare for the future, such as creating a red file, considering the financial implications, and engaging in open communication with your parents, you can navigate this complex situation with greater ease.

"We understand that this is an area of stress for them, and certainly, it happens from time to time. You can kind of ease into the conversation and say, 'I didn't mean to upset you, but I just want to make sure that you're taken care of because I love you.'" - Amy Irvine

In the coming weeks, we will explore these topics in more detail, providing resources and guidance to help you navigate the challenges of caring for aging parents. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are professionals available to support you every step of the way.

As we gather with our families during the holiday season, let us use this time to have open and honest conversations about the future and ensure that our loved ones' needs are met. By planning ahead and addressing these important topics, we can provide the care and support our parents deserve while maintaining balance in our own lives.

Thank you for joining us on this edition of Wine and Dime. We appreciate your support and encourage you to share this podcast with friends and family who may find it helpful. Together, we can navigate the challenges of the sandwich generation and create a brighter future for ourselves and our loved ones.

This episode is brought to you by Rooted Planning Group. Rooted Planning Group is a fee-only financial planning firm that specializes in working with women in their 30s and 40s who want to take control of their finances and plan for the future. Whether you're just starting out or you're looking to make a big change, Rooted Planning Group can help.

Visit www.rootedpg.com to learn more.

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode

Listen for free

Show artwork for Money Roots

About the Podcast

Money Roots
Money Roots with Amy Irvine
Welcome to "Money Roots," the podcast where personal finance becomes personal. Join host Amy Irvine, CEO of Rooted Planning Group, as she demystifies the world of finance and makes it approachable for everyone, from beginners to financial experts.

In each episode, Amy and her guests dig deep into the financial soil, planting the seeds of financial knowledge and helping you nurture your financial future. Whether you're looking to build a solid budget, invest wisely, or plan for retirement, "Money Roots" has you covered.

Get ready to explore practical advice, inspiring stories, and expert insights that will empower you to take control of your financial destiny. It's time to grow your money roots and thrive financially!

Subscribe to "Money Roots" now and join Amy on this exciting journey to financial empowerment. Let's put down some roots and flourish together.

About your host

Profile picture for Amy Irvine

Amy Irvine

Uncorking Amy Irvine!!

If any of you have ever met Amy, you know she is passionate about
three things. Family, Finances, and WINE! This comes through in all
that she does and all that she is. When asked to describe herself she first and foremost states, “I am a wife, a daughter, and hopefully a good friend, who happens to also be a financial planner.” Amy holds a Master’s Degree in financial planning and is a Certified Financial Planner TM , Enrolled Agent, Certified College Financial Consultant, and a Financial Wellness Coach with over 25 years of financial planning and industry experience. She is the Founder and owner of Rooted Planning Group, (Formerly known as Irvine Wealth Planning Strategies LLC), which started in 2016 and has grown to include 6 other planners and 2 part-time staff members. Amy is definitely “doing it her way” and has been recognized by her financial planning colleagues as being a “disrupter,” a title she holds close to her heart and is proud of.

Uniquely, at the age of 44, she decided to not only start her only company, but to act on what she defined as her perfect life and she splits her time between Parrish, Florida and Jasper, New York.
On her website it states, “I love what I do, but I also very much enjoy warmth, good
conversation, wine tastings, and volunteering. New York is extraordinary in the summer and fall, but so is Florida in the winter.”
In 2018, she decided it was time to take the stigma out of finances by combining her passion for finances and wine. She started a podcast called “Wine and Dime,” which highlights a different wine and financial topic each week, and she released her book combining those same two passions, titled, “Uncork Your Finances.”
Many of you may know her as one of the co-founders of the Southern Tier Women’s Financial Conference – a day of collaboration and financial education, which will be hosting it’s sixth year!
To round out her volunteering passion, she often provides financial education to the
community through the financial management program of Cornell Cooperative Extension of Steuben County, she serves on the board of Faith-in-Action of Steuben County, volunteers for various Fund For Women of the Southern Tier events, works with the finance committee of the Arts Council of the Southern Finger Lakes, and serves on the board for the Corning Painted Post Historical Society (also known as Heritage Village).
In her downtime, you’re likely to find her with a glass of red wine from one of the many Keuka or Seneca Lake wineries that she highlights in her Wine and Dime Podcast.